The bottom right and the top left don't have the same type of flow. I agree that whatever is on his shoulder has to go, it's too Jaged for the rest of this piece.
I say make the rest of the tag more like the bottom right and it would look great. Color wise it is perfect, lighting is good. Just need to work on your flow. Welcome to the world of LPs, keep them up and you'll never want to go back to sigs.
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