][><][ DeathsMother's Beer thread ][><][

[SadistiK Mother]

OK I'm going to name off some beers that stick in my mind and comment on them, just to either warn you or to tell you to try it. Scale of 1 to 5

From best to worst.


Rogue Shakespeare Stout 4.1
Try to shine a light through this one. By far the darkest beer I have ever seen. Great taste, full and thick head that lasts till the very last drop. This beer gives great head!


Guinness Draught 3
Good head, thick and dark taste, but not one you want to pull an all-nighter with. This is the one you drink to impress that exquisitely dressed female at the end of the bar, drinking a Mich-light.


Rogue Rogue-n-Berry 2.6
Berry-licious to very last drop. A little to fuity for my liking but not horrible either. Whorthy of a try any time.


Bad Frog Lemon Lager 2.4
If you like lemon brews I strongly suggest this. Very refreshing taste with a slight sour after taste. Not bad at all!


Michelob Ultra 2.4
Ladies and gentlemen!! We have a winner! The best beer for females award goes to.........Michelob Ultra. Very very smooth no taste nothing at all for her to bitch about.


Milwaukees Best Light 2
Truely my beer of choice. Mostley because of the cheap price, cause livin in the Carolinas means you are not making much money! Its got just what you need to have after a hard days work.... cold, wet, thirst quenching, and no nastey aftertaste. Best of all you would have to drink about 30 of these things to get a hangover!


Tequiza 2
Margarita in a bottle. I guess having been a bartender I can appreciate the otherwise rather strange taste to a beer lover. Not bad if you like something a little diferent now and then.


Coors Light 1.9
Yet another good beer for the ladies. Virtually tasteless but gets the job done after a considerable amount of consumption.


Michelob Light 1.9
This is by far the absolute best beer for the lady in your life. Most women hate beer, but on the other hand most women will drink Mich-Light. It looks great, tastes like nothing, and dosen’t stain her blouse when you bump into her. Always have a sixer in the fridge for whomever may visit.


Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale 1.9
Wow I never knew that could drink pumkin pie, but I guess you can. I’m not sure how they did it but it really isn’t bad, just a little to sweet. Definitely a better strange-brew.


Cave Creek Chili Beer 1.8
The only way to drink this beer is pepper and all! What an ass kicker, the best novelty beer I’ve ever had! Just much diferent than any other beer I’ve had. Be carefull you don’t want to many of these or you will shit fire the day after.


Icehouse 1.8
Woo Hoo that will knock you on your ass! As for taste, I’ve definitly had better. But at least this has a selling point, you can’t taste it after the tenth can. Very Nice!!! If you want to get hammered really fast this is the tool for the job.


Miller High Life Light 1.7
Ya know..........I drink this stuff called High Life, and I’m thinking more about the low life REDNECK who’s drinkin this stuff and beatin the hell out of his old-lady! It does not have a smell or head worth talking about, but it does look great. Definitely a good one for the girls. Come on guys, lets drink some real beer!! Think about the fact that you can buy this in a (40oz) bottle,...YUM!


Rogue Brutal Bitter 1.7
Good god! Brutal isn’t enough for this bad boy. It knocked me on my ass! Quite simpley the strongest hoppy flavor I have ever tasted. Horrible after taste that would not die, and looked like strained puke after eating beef stew! I’m a big fan of the Rogue lineup, so give it a try. Just don’t ask me to again.


Crested Butte Red Lady Ale 1.7
This is a lady that needs to be put-down! The only thing they got right in the name was red. I’ve never had a lady smell or taste like that, buy it to try it, but see if you can just buy one. You won’t want any more.


Milwaukees Best Ice 1.6
O.K. this is the beer you want when your out of money and need to get drunk really bad! WARNING you will have a five alarm hangover, but if you wakeup next to an ugly girl it might have been worth it. All in all it’s not a bad beer for the money, you just better make sure you willing to suffer the after-effects.


Matt Accel 1.5
Just a little to fruity for my liking. But all in all not terrible. Just a fruity tasting weak beer.


Magnum 1.5
Stop what your doing, and try this toxic waste! It truely is rectum rot! This is not good infact it sucks balls.


Lone Star 1.3
Man this stuff makes me want to packup my saddle, russel me up some cattle, and drive em up the Rio Grande, YEE HAWW.........Well maybe if I was a flaming homosexual! You know that saying steers & queers?


Birra Moretti 1.3
SKUNK JUICE!!!! But they trick you by giving it absolutely no smell. Tricky bastards thought they could get away with it. Well they didn’t expect me to come along and tell the world about the biohazardous waste there shipping to us. Don’t buy!!


Labatt Blue 1.2
Wow! Can you say skunk beer? This beer goes down good, but if you have it you dont want it to come up........Not the worst, but definitely not the best by far!!!! Just picture yourself roasting squid cucumbers, then cuting them open and smelling the waft of grotesgue mammal-rot. I’m sorry I just can’t get past the funky smell!!!


Rogue Dead Guy Ale 1.2
Just another perfect name by my buddies at Rogue Ales. My only question is how long did they let the dead guy float in it? Embalming fluid would have been a good name too. Not good period. End of story.


Samuel Adams Cream Stout 1.2
Doesn’t smell like it tastes. But both are not good. Not very rigid going down and not a bad after taste. OK to try but not for the long haul.


Bavaria Pilsener 1.2
Just one of your not good imports. I’m not inclined to go ape-shit about how bad or good it is. It’s just not good.


Blue Moon Belgian White Ale 1.2
Pour this one into a dark glass, because you do not want to look through it. At first impression it was a little scary, kind of looking like unchanged fish bowl water. However the taste was not appalling, it just was not good. After a night of these bring some toilet paper to the throne, cause your gonna need it.


Blue Moon Nut Brown Ale
(RETIRED) 1.1
This is a perfect example of what not to brew. We want to drink a refreshing beer not a bottle of trail-mix! Pour me something else PLEASE!


Olde English 800 7.5 1.1
Just remember when you tip one for your homies to tip the whole thing out. That is the best advise I can give you. The hangover alone, is reason enough to steer clear of this one.


King Cobra Malt Liquor 1
O.K. Do you have a lame ass friend who has not ever been drunk? Please give him a 40 of this pollution, no matter what you do you are guarateed to have a bitch of a hangover!


Real Rock Premium 1
Now, for this fine Jamaican lager. I’ve deffinitely had better but all in all it’s not that bad, but I’d rather be slammin some shit from the old state of Milwaukee. But if you happen to be stranded on the side of the road in the desert, you could drink the ass of of these!


Keystone Light 1
Please give me something else! This stuff will give you the worst hangover of your life. And thats kind of surprising considering the amount of water in one of these cans. Pure crap, not cheap enough to drink ever again.


Rogue Chipotle Ale .9
Oh my god! Please tell me that was a joke. I should win something for having finished that bottle of sewage. Don’t put yourself to the test, it could scare you away from driking ever again.


Wychwood Fiddlers Elbow .9
This tastes like the fiddlers piss after he boiled his elbow and drank it! Yuck!!!!


St Peters Organic Ale .9
You’ve heard of the Headless Horseman, well the is the beer version. And I would say it was brewed in the same time period. It tastes like liquid dirt! They weren’t kidding when they said organic.


Weeping Radish OBX Beer .9
Oh god! Not good, not good at all. This is not something they want to advertise the outter banx with. Stay away from this decay!


Anchor Steam Beer .9
Anchor steam, yep thats what it tastes like. How about you bring up one of the Titanic anchors from Davey Jones Locker with some of the seaweed stuck to it, and lots of sea water. Once you have the anchor on the deck of your ship, scrape all the barnacles off and boil them in the sea water that you saved from the locker. Now drill a hole into the carcass that used to be an anchor. Pull out a straw and start sippen the sewage you’ve created.........YUM!!!!!!


Warsteiner Premium Dunkel .9
Why were the NAZIS so mad? Because they were drinking bile! The Holocaust would not have happened if they had some good beer! Now you know what happens when you drink shit!


Dubuque Simpatico Amber
(RETIRED) .8
Oh No!, they don’t make this muck anymore?! Darn, shucks, crap, holy-cannoli! That is such a shame, if anyone ever liked this beer I feel bad.......GOOD!


Lost Coast Alleycat Amber Ale .7
Since when has anybody taken in an alleycat? There is definitely a reason for that. Here is a question, what does a cat eat in an alley? Well, did you ever watch saturday morning cartoons? Do you remember when the cats ate the old fish bones? Picture that in real life! Just in case you didn’t have a childhood, don’t drink this beer!


Samuel Adams Hefeweizen .5
I’ve never had a beer that smelled like a dirty crotch. Maybe my nose is going wrong tonight. So it will taste better right? WRONG! Try to carbonate your piss after a long night of sex with a pig, and you will get this.


Harley Davidson Beer .5
Picture this,,,, You buy yourself a brand new Harley in 1972 and ride it all across the country untill present day never having changed the oil. Now drain the oil into a cup and drink it. Were not done yet, now piss that out into a can that has a clever picture of something on it like a HARLEY MOTOR, and tadaaah! You have yourself a brand new Harley beer that tastes better than the real thing.

[Exiled Bandit]

Nice. Whenever I end up drinking, this will be the first thing I'll check for a good beer to drink.

[QuickPro]

Very comprehensive DM. What about Rolling Rock? It's cheap and totally decent in my opinion.

[SadistiK Mother]

Originally Posted by QuickPro

Very comprehensive DM. What about Rolling Rock? It's cheap and totally decent in my opinion.

Yeh I'll add more as they come to me.

[ImPooping]

Labbat blue is good when you eat a bunch of shit before you drink it...

[I Snix I]

Strong strong words, and I guess if anyone disagrees with you they are wrong since you are a man who loves his beer, me I drink just random things, I personally like Molson, or a random honey loger

[SubNoiZe]

yueng ling is pretty good stuff!!

[VICE]

Deathsmother, you totally missed Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and Red Stripe. If you haven't had one of either try one out the next time your at the pub.

[Dεjasaki]

I don't drink, but when I do start to drink, I'll remember to look back at this.

[SheiK]

lol, nice job, Mother. That is one comprehensive guide!